Say what you want about those early Yardbirds sides — they were truly great — but the sore fact remains plainly evident, etched in vinyl and bits for all to hear:
Eric Clapton sucks.
You need evidence? Try these:
- I Shot the Sherriff
- Lay Down Sally
- After Midnight
- Forever Man
- Tears in Heaven
And these are his HITS, fer gawd’s sake! Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve been torturing my buddy J.-P. by humming “Lay Down Sally” every time I walked past his office. This campaign of terror grew in magnitude until last week, when it culminated in my placing a $2 copy of “Timepieces: The Best of Eric Claption” on his desk.
Honestly, I never thought he’d actually listen to it.
But he did.
The main reason I’m sorry is that he reminded me that I did, in fact, know the song “Promises,” and then he proceeded to hum some of it for me, and yes, I do in fact remember it, and the remembering HURTS.
But back the main point: WHY does Clapton suck? Clearly, as revealed by some of his playing in Cream and those aforementioned Yardbirds tunes, the man can play guitar. But look at what he chooses to do with it — I mean, just LOOK at that list above. Insipid songs, insipid singing, mawkish sentimentality. I’m being charitable.
And that’s not even mentioning the monstrosity that is called, in dark shadows and hidden places, by creatures who should know better than to speak its unhallowed name, “Wonderful Tonight.”
When you listen to stuff like that, the terrorists win.
I’m going to go listen to some Black Flag now. LOUD. It’s the anti-Clapton.
UPDATE 6/10/11: As amusing (and sad) as the comments about this confessedly somewhat tongue-in-cheek post have been over the last 2.5 years, I’m disabling comments now. I mean, is there really anything more to be said? Thanks to those who offered substantive comments, and even those who only suggested I do nasty things to myself. If you’re really so offended that my fellow guitarist and I don’t dig Clapton’s solo work that you feel compelled to comment, please accept my best regards, and my sincere wishes that you begin having a more interesting day.